August 24, 2005

Office Shenanigans

I used to work for a bank.

Around the time that Gibson released his religious snuff film, the office started to buzz with religious fervor. It was all Jews = bad, PRAYYYYYYYYYZZZZEEEE JEEESSSSSUSSSSS. As I am an atheist, I hid in my cube and avoided any and all discussion about the movie.

An especially religious co-worker noticed this and asked why.

"I haven't seen it." I replied. Why hadn't I seen it? "I'm not very interested in religious movies." I said, hoping that would be good enough. Fake and phoney Jesus help me, it was NOT good enough.

I started getting e-mails containing insipid and remarkably sappy stories about god and angels and prayer - complete with bible verses. When that didn't work, I started getting pictures of that poor man strung up on the cross taped up in my cube when I'd return from my day off. Then, I would be wittnessed at whenever I stepped an inch out of my cube.

(You might be asking yourself why I didn't just go to the boss and complain. Well, having worked in the corporate world for several years prior to this taught me that it's often the complainer who gets in trouble - not the culprit. Plus, as it is painfully clear that atheists are the final minority that it's perfectly acceptable to shit on - what would be the point?)

This went on for several weeks. Then I went on vacation. I returned to work to learn that this story has a fantastic ending.

While I was out, this good religious woman had been fired for giving out customer information to her boyfriend (yes, she was married) about his live-in girlfriend. Her boyfriend turned out to be the father of her eldest daughter's unborn child.

Gotta love it.